Will I, or Won't I?

My addictions are commonly accepted: food, sugar, over-doing hobbies, internet research, ebay shopping (but not overspending), facebooking. They are addictions nonetheless. As I embark once again on the journey to freedom from them, I am reminded this morning that the freedom " from" is also a freedom "to" all of the wonderful aspects of a full relationship with Christ in which I am able to soar into the realm of being all that He created me to be.

Sounds wonderful, and it will be. However, I touched on the fact, in a previous post, that life without my addictions will be scary at first. The second phase is loneliness. These "friends" have held my hands through so many harsh realities of life, the worst of which was my miscarriage. They have numbed me to the effects of failure, real and perceived, and to feelings of abandonment and loss that overwhelm me when relationships falter or go away. They have been there for me. They have also smothered the life out of my life.

Yesterday, as I worked to peek my way out from under them, I was reminded for the millionth time that walking the tightrope of life without the net of my addictions ushers in something else: the whole flood of emotions and issues that the addictions were numbing come roaring back. They must be dealt with, or back into the addictions I'll go. At times I have thrown my resolve STRAIGHT up into the air and run pell mell back into the circus of my addictions. Other times, I have held a mask of prayer and piety in one hand while edging backwards into the mire. I backed my way into them so slowly, I tried not to notice myself!

This whole struggle is about whether or not I will surrender my life to Jesus. Will I lay it down for the Lord's use? Will I eagerly seek to hear the Holy Spirit and follow Him? It's really that simple. Each time a complicated emotion surges to the surface, I can CHOOSE whether or not to go to God in prayer for healing and direction.

The Birds Sang...and the Saw Grated...and I Was Glad!

I took a short nap just now. Upon awakening, I asked God to show me that He loves me. After all, most of my addiction/freedom work is a slow slag through the mud of self-recrimination (can I get an "Amen" here). I'm now ensconced on my back deck, listening to the birds, watching the sunlight filter through the willow birch and crepe myrtle trees, and taking in the grating sounds of some sort of carpentry work one street over.

I laughed when I pulled up my deck chair...chuckling that, instead of the full-on glory of nature, I would be treated to that infernal saw noise. Pretty quickly, though, I thought about what a gift work is. What a gift! How wonderful to hold a tool in your hand and to know, at day's end, that ya did something profitable in some way. Just one more of God's blessings. What a gift to hold a computer in your lap and to write something that encourages someone. What a gift to swing a broom and treat someone to a clean house at the end of their school or work day. What a gift to work very hard all day and to then, at days end, rest very contentedly.

I want to come out of the half-light of addiction-hobbled living and take whatever days I have left, wringing them dry of their juicy joy, angst, or whatever they bring! I want to leave each day exhausted of any and all opportunities to serve God, enjoy Him, and learn from and experience the world around me. I have been very blessed my whole life. I do not expect that to change!

Today I choose to live. I made a promise to myself last night. When thoughts of regret come, I will dismiss them without a conversation. If the regret is coupled with a dilemma that past action or inaction has created, I will look at it as a challenge for God to help me solve, an opportunity to watch His creative care at work, and to be a part of it. If the regret involves something I cannot change, I will focus my mind on one of the millions of good things God has provided for me to think about! There is so much good to focus on! With Jesus in my life, there always will be.

Problems shall henceforth be challenges to be approached creatively!

What Will Life Be Like?

What will life be like without my many addictions (food, especially sugar, facebook, internet surfing, craft supply hoarding, certain types of crafts, ebay shopping)? It will be terrifying. At first. What will it be like a few days in? Lonely. My addictions are like friends who hold my hands, shielding me right and left from negative emotions. Like WELL MEANING friends who, ultimately, shield me from really living. They form a barrier to my true calling (writing). They stop me from enjoying friends, barring the door to my home, convincing me that they offer all of the comfort and fulfillment of a roomful of human companions. They shout at me from all corners to ignore the lure of career fulfillment. After all, they'll NEVER reject me. "Don't run the risk!" They scream at all hours. "We come risk-free! You know us. You know we would never hurt you! Keep your mind on us. We are guaranteed to please. We won't fail you."

But they HAVE hurt me. They have damaged my physical and emotional health. They have stunted my development as a human being. They have robbed me of something as basic as sunshine on a beautiful day as I feverishly serve their demands. I want to be free.

I want a new addiction: following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Working hard to achieve the priorities He sets for me. Letting my hobbies fall to the fringes of my world. They won't go away. I'll enjoy them even more in the proper perspective. I am going to search the scriptures for the tools I need to be free. Tune in tomorrow!

A Consolidation....For Now!

I have decided to take a break from social media. Clear my head. Maybe never go back. Since my blogs will have fewer readers as a result, I thought I would consolidate them under my "Surviving Midlife Miscarriage" blog. After all, my miscarriage at the age of 42 was a watershed moment in my life. God's matchless grace and abundant love carried me through and changed my perspective on hardship. It was a turning point. Expect to see the same type of entries over there that you have become accustomed to; i.e., a sometimes rambling, always transparent account of my human failings  met with God's grace and his "unfailing love" as King David so eloquently described it in the Psalms.

I won't be doing the daily updates on my successes or failures...I'll just talk about God's great mercy and His amazing love showered on this lowly suburban housewife. Never ceases to amaze me.

Thank you for bearing with me. Love you all!

Let Jesus Carry You Across the Finish Line Today

Good morning, saints! Love to you all. God's way (to life, wholeness, joy and peace) works. It really does!!!! Don't give up. Don't give in. Take a deep breath, get on your knees, and ask Him for strength to make this day victorious. You cannot do it without Him.

Whatever sin strongholds you are facing, Jesus smashed them at the cross. Read Romans 8 in its entirety. You will become convinced.

Here are some choice verses from Romans 8: (1-2, NLT) "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." (6-9) "So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws and it never will. That's why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God. But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)" (Emphasis mine.)

Wash your mind daily in the scriptures so that they are always floating around in your spirit, ready for the Holy Spirit's use in your life. When you are weak, go to the Rock! Jesus is always strong, and He will carry you.

I stayed within my calorie and fat gram limits yesterday. I had not planned to exercise. Though my "to-do" list was upended by a meeting and by my desire to get out of the house, it was a productive day. I made a crockpot of chili, cross-stitched for an hour-and-a-half, straightened the house, did a load of laundry, bought supplies to launch a new hobby (punch needle embroidery) and attended a meeting about college preparatory information at Matt's high school. Jesus was with me every step of the way. Oh, and how could I forget? I blogged!

 

A Week of Progress

Last week shaped up to be a gorgeous start to my new initiative to hand over several sin strongholds to Jesus. As I go, I am reminding myself that abiding in Christ and drinking in His presence is the ticket. Oh, and prayer. LOTS of prayer.

It was so hard to smell the sausage balls I made for Jonathan and not eat them...even more so to watch my husband help himself to my chicken casserole with butter crumb topping and not fall headfirst into the casserole dish and eat my way out in a most unladylike fashion. But I prevailed!

If you are reading this blog for the first time, you have probably picked up on the fact that overeating is one of the strongholds I am battling. I will be victorious, with God's help. Last week I was 100% successful at not topping my max calorie and saturated fat gram limits. However, this battle has not reached my heart yet. What I mean is that I am consuming most of my calories in the first part of the  day, which is good for weight loss short-term, but signals that I still crave the act of eating.  Additionally, I am not yet choosing foods that pack the best punch nutritionally. My heart is still with breads and sugar.

I exercised four out of the five days I was shooting for last week. Not bad. Have to tell you, though, that Saturday night when I popped the workout dvd in the player, I was thinking of you all and my accountability to you alone. I know I cannot tell you that God's way works, if, well, I'm not letting it work for me. At some point I pray that I will feel more emotionally connected to the idea of keeping the temple of the Holy Spirit well and strong.

Poor time management is the second stronghold I am documenting a victory over in this blog. Friday I accomplished everything I was planning to do except exercise. Saturday I accomplished everything on my list.  I am making strides.

Staying connected to the vine (Jesus) is going to get me free of the bonds of laziness, procrastination, and gluttony. I will be filled with joy as I experience greater freedom from these bonds. Again, perfection is not the goal (it is not possible anyway). The goal is to become closer to Christ and to enjoy freedom from habitual sins that quench the work of the Holy Spirit in and through me.

Have a wonderful week!

God is Working in Me....and in You!

Good morning saints of God! Don't feel worthy of the moniker "saint"? Well, that is what you are, thanks to the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross FOR YOU. So, let's try that again. GOOD MORNING SAINTS OF GOD! Did you claim your title that time? I hope so.

I started this blog to prove to myself and others that God's way to freedom from spiritual strongholds of sin really does work. This is not about perfection, but freedom from chains of habitual, ingrained sins that have robbed us of our joy, our witness, and, in short, our vitality in Christ.

It is a new day. I am turning a LONG list of strongholds over to Jesus, but I am only documenting health habits and time management here. I stayed within my calorie and fat gram limits yesterday, did my power walk and got four of the five things I had planned done. I hit at least 75% completion on the fifth item.

What is God's way to freedom? It is to turn your entire life over to Him and to commit yourself to seeking His will and doing it. Along the way, you have to lean on Him for strength to stay the course. I have said many times in my life "the Holy Spirit does the heavy lifting." He has to. We are powerless over sin in our own strength.

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that  leads to death." Romans 8:1-2 (New Living Translation, Second Edition, Tyndale House Publishers, 2007)

 

Small Strides Within His Big One!

Good morning! This will be a beautiful day in the Lord! I am pressing in to Him to help me with several sin strongholds....but I am only documenting time management and diet and exercise here. I am happy to report that yesterday was a great day. While I did not get my power walk in (I will make it up on Saturday), I did stay within my calorie/fat gram limits. Of the eighteen things I would liked to have done I completed ten and got nearly all of my housework done. I will do even better today.

I am documenting my journey to freedom from sin strongholds as a way to prove to myself and others that God's way really does work! When we submit our entire lives to Him, lock, stock and barrel, and we steadfastly pray to be released from the chains that bind us, He is there with the strength that we need when we need it.

Growth in the Lord (not perfection, mind you), IS POSSIBLE! While there  is no formula for seeking God, as He is a spirit and we need to abide in him daily, loving on him and just seeking Him like water in the desert, there ARE a few things that we can do to help us grow spiritually. I wrote them in my journal a year ago when I needed to know I was headed in the right direction.

Here is my list:
1) Understand that love must form the basis of all of my actions.
2) Pray
3) Read the Bible
4) Study good Bible teaching
5) Go to church
6) Spend time with Christians who are more mature than I am
7) Guard my mind from wrong media influences
8) Continually lay out the welcome mat of my heart to the Holy Spirit
9) Continually empty myself before the Lord and ask Him to fill me with his Holy Spirit.
10) Continually give all of myself back over to the Lord (all of my sins and failures, inviting Him to change me)
11) Listen to worship music
12) Engage in small group biblestudy
13) Go to Christian concerts

My goal in life is to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. Everything else is gravy.

Loving the Forecast

Today is a beautiful new day in Christ. The weather forecast for the committed Christian is always brilliant sunshine in the light of the perfect love of Jesus.

I will post my accountability information at the bottom of this post. First, I want to share some scripture to put some boost in your spiritual rocket engines. Whatever sin strongholds you are turning over to Jesus today....you can do it in HIS strength. Remember, the Holy Spirit does the heavy lifting (praise God)!

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.'" (Matthew 11:28-30, NLT)

Read all of Psalm 34 today. Here are some choice verses from that Psalm that remind us that freedom in Christ is possible! "Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles." (v. 6)  "I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt his name together." (v. 2-3) "Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." (v. 10)

I am happy to report that I stayed within calorie and saturated fat gram limits yesterday and got a few things accomplished. I went to ladies' biblestudy at church. I got a power walk in. I worked a tiny bit on my beautiful "Blueberry Bears" rug. I picked up some special dog food at the vet's office for the world's most beloved (and expensive) dachshund. I did two pages of my Yosemite scrapbook. Today will be even more productive.

Enjoy your freedom today! Don't squander it. Don't let the devil snatch it from you.
 

Good Morning!

Good morning, fellow sojourners in the Lord! I stayed within my calorie/fat gram limits, completed a 20-25 minute power walk and got several of my written "to-do" list items completed yesterday! So far, so good. I could have accomplished more, but what I did do makes me happy because, when a big change is underway, PROGRESS is PROGRESS, praise God!

I am happy to report that I had sinus issues yesterday. That sounds weird, but yes, I am glad my first day working hand-in-hand with the Lord on time management issues involved a challenge. Motivation is elusive in my world. I love it when I have to rely on the Lord or nothing will happen. Love it. The end result is that I get to tell you all that He came through!

I also struggled mightily with boredom. In between dishes, laundry, sweeping, cleaning toilets and vacuuming, I would fall to the bed or couch in a fit of utterly miserable dullness. Things other people do without thinking (housework) throw me into a dramatic fit of boredom-induced depression. I finished four pages of my Yosemite scrapbook. I did a short devotional with my family at dinner. I made something happen while wading through an ennui so thick it felt, emotionally at least, like quicksand.

I will never be perfect, but I will be SET FREE from low productivity. I hate to disappoint some of you, however. I will NOT be filling my time with religious busy work. Don't call me if you think of some. I'd rather put on some praise music and spend time with Jesus.

A Beautiful Start

Praise report! Yesterday, that glorious day of rest, I experienced my first day of victory. With God's help I stayed within my calorie and saturated fat gram limits (1,500 and 15) and, though I have  declared weekends as rest zones on the exercise front, I went on a short hike at Henry Horton State Park with my husband at sunset. I hope the spirit of good physical health will bleed into more activities like this!

Since I have a list of sin strongholds I am handing over to the Lord in this new season of growth (I am only documenting health habits and time management in this blog), I wish to remind you and underscore for myself this morning that sin does not cast itself out, neither is it intimidated by the flesh. I can stare into the mirror with a self-loathing that frightens even me and turn right around and find out that I can no sooner free myself from my sin strongholds than I can bench-press a Buick. Ain't gonna happen.

Here's the good news: Jesus can do it! He wants to! Abiding in Christ, literally breathing His spirit in like a smoker on oxygen, all throughout the day and night, is the strength behind our prayers. When you feel weak, cry out to the Lord. We know that abiding in the Holy Spirit, literally living in Christ's shadow, is the answer versus rote religious practices or self-will, because we have tried them all. Here's what the Bible says about such efforts: "These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they produce no help in conquering a person's evil desires." (Col. 2:23, NLT)

Placing your heart, mind, will, and emotions into the hands of the living God, literally "SELLING OUT" to Christ is the answer. ("Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God." - Colossians 3:1-3, NLT). Along the way, commit your strongholds to God. Pray for His help. I hope the following scriptures give you strength as you face your own giants today.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psa. 37:23, NLT.

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you." Psa 37:5, NLT.

"He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds." Titus 2:14

 

Ready....set.....TRUST!!!!

I have recently decided, after a thorough look at my life at the bird's-eye-view age of 44, to go a whole lot deeper into my faith in God. I want to completely disappear into it. I want to take my children with me! They are teens and need to see a sold-out version of mom. They will! Indeed, they will. 

Right away I realized that I have some sin strongholds that are not going to go away on their own. Furthermore, in my own strength, I'll never shoo them away either. Ever tried to shoo an elephant away from its food source after it has gone a long time without eating? That's a good picture of the struggle I face. Every. Ding. Dong. Day.

I'll never be perfect. That's not the aim of this new initiative. I will, however, walk in increasing levels of freedom from these sins. I will do that.

Here's how I propose to: I will use this blog to chronicle my use of scripture, prayer and faith (which I will beg the Lord for) to rise above a few choice weaknesses. I hope I'll encourage you by showing you that God's way works. I know it does. I believe it. I am going to put on the armor of God and soak my head in the scriptures. I am going to fall on my face before Him. I am going to get freedom.

The areas I am going to chronicle in this blog are time management and health practices (diet and exercise). I'll share whatever scriptures the Lord lays on my heart and those which bring me strength. Just knowing that you are along on my journey will encourage me to press into Him.

I have titled this blog "God Works" because He does. His way, as laid out in scripture and in his day-to-day communication with our individual hearts about our individual lives W.O.R.K.S. We are the ones who let go of the tow rope.